Hallway of Doors

The last few weeks have been tough. A lot of failure and disappointment. It made me lose sight of things. I couldn't enjoy what was right in front of me. It was coming to the point where I thought that there was no hope left and I was to the point of giving up. Throwing in the towel and realizing how my life is going to be.

I've lived the nomad life for a long time. Always saying good bye to people, not staying in one place to long. Don't get me wrong, I've been many places and seen a lot that people don't get to. I'm very greatful for that. It has made me who I am today. But there was always something missing. Something that lots of people had that is didn't. But I chose to keep moving.

When I finally realized I should stop doing that, it seemed too late. The older I got the harder it was to find jobs and relationships. I feared that my life was going to go back to what it was. And it did again for a while. I was scared that I was too late and that's how my life will go. I started to accept that. Told people that its what I am and I can't change that.
Every once in a while things would be going great. And as soon as I settled into being happy and enjoying it, it would be taken from me. It felt like someone had a personal vendetta against me and was just teasing and laughing at me. I asked God what I did wrong and how can I fix it to make it better. It seemed like I never got an answer. So I accepted that that's how it will always be.

As many of you know and have seen my Facebook status, I finally have an opportunity. I am very greatful for all the love and support you have sent to me. I can't thank you enough. The saying when one door closes, another opens. This is very true in my case.

I had a door close that I was hoping never would. Something special was in that door.  Something that made me happy and smile. When things seemed down, I knew that would make everything better. It was something to look forward to everyday. It seemed perfect and too good to be true. But I was enjoying the ride. And then it closed and there was nothing I could do about it. Again I felt like that vendetta was there just poking at me and laughing. When all seemed great...poof...gone. I was speaking with friends that it is just how it will always be. I could see I was giving up. And what's worse, I was accepting it.

I woke up this morning to work out and get rid of my hangover. I worked out hard and saying just focus on the race this weekend. It will help clear the mind. I finished and was drinking my protein shake and just sitting with no idea what to do when the email came. Didn't see it coming. Thankful that it did.

I was sad when that door closed. When this one opened, it made me realize that other doors will open for me soon as well. I just have to move forward. Make the best of what's being given to me. I'll look back at that closed door and think what if, but I know that someday, that closed door will always open another.

Thank you for everything and all you support. Boston, here I come.