Moving on......

I have come to the conclusion that much of the last 2 years of my life have been fake. Its hard to imagine that, especially when you put your entire heart and soul in it. But when you are told that there was only the relationship because I felt sorry for you and you needed help, you realize very quickly. And when it sets in, how hard is it to let someone back into your life. Questions pop in your head all the time, such as, will I trust someone else, will I take down my bubble and allow someone new into my life, etc. So many questions, with no easy answers.
These last 2 years that I thought were real, were not always great of course, but I was happy where I was. I felt that finally things were settling down and I could finally call a place home and life will go from there. It's what everyone wishes for. Oh how the tides can quickly turn. People change quickly and who you thought you loved, isn't that person anymore. You wonder who they are now and how they can say these things to you, when you gave your heart to them. What changed? It is something that probably can never be answered. Maybe they were like that the whole time but you were to blinded by love to realize it. (Which is usually the right answer).
They say the ones you love can hurt you the most. I come to realize that is very true. They know that button to push. When you finally feel you are over everything and can move forward, they find a way back in, and frustrate you even more. They say things to hurt you because they know they can. Why do they do this? Why do they feel the need to make you upset? What do they gain out of these petty fights? Isn't it easier to just move on and not look back?  It is an emotional battle that seems never ending.
The issue after all of that is, how can you trust someone else. How can you let someone new in. Would you be afraid to give your heart to someone after such a battle. This is where I am today.
We all know that down the road everything will be ok and the past will be long gone. (I can't wait for that day).
Everyone make mistakes, and say things that they don't mean. But those things will stick in your head and they are hard to forget. Especially when they are directed to hurt your heart.
My advice is, move on with your own life. Why keep the fight going because it isn't benefiting anyone. It's only hurting you, and someday karma will win. Like I was told tonight, you may not be there to witness it, but just know it will happen someday.