Shipping off to Boston!

Well well well. Its finally happened. I land in Boston and finally have the job I want. Walking the city with the bright lights, tons of people, restaurants galore, and just plain stuff!! Oh and don't forget the annoying people who beep the horn at you the second the light turns green. Is that just a Boston thing? Had that happen the other day and I just stopped. Beep your horn at me, I'll do exactly what you don't want me to do. I'm an asshole. I'll admit it.

City life is just great. Everything I need at any time. However downtown turns into a ghost town at night. Very strange walking from work and not seeing a person until I get close to the T. Trader Joes is conveniently located within walking distance. Fenway right around the corner. The Prudential Building right outside my window. And bars bars bars. Its a rough life.

Apartment hunting has been a bitch though. Who posts on craigslist and not reply back? You want someone to fill a room, REPLY BACK! yet another reason I don't like people.

Post Ragnar life has been interesting. Took some time off for a bit. Started to run again and workout heavy. Its almost November, got to have that beach bod ready by spring. Operation Sexy has commenced. In the words of The Rock: FOCUS!!!!

The job is starting to settle for me. Its a great location and a great idea. Corporate Wellness is actually something I never thought I would do, but its pretty decent.
A lot to learn and a lot to do. Bring it in bitches.

"A nut for a jar of tuna" spelled backwards is the same thing.

Its all about the Ragnar

This weekend my team, Got The Runs, and I finished another Ragnar Relay Race. It is a 200 mile race, with 12 people and 2 vans, that has you run through the night, in the cold, in a van with 5 other people, some you may or may not know. You get used to the smell of sweat, dirty shoes, "the runs", and you become close friends with these crazy people.

You never know what outfit you will see when you come across a runner on the road. Guys or girls wearing tutus, guys wearing banana hammocks, and just wild crazy costumes. Volunteers dressed up like pirates, pumpkins, and cheering you on. Meeting other teams and becoming friends with them. Seeing people running and blasting music to cheer them on. That's what Ragnar is about. However, hearing Call Me Maybe was displeasing.

Definitely one of the best experiences you can have, crossing that finish line as a team, with everyone there cheering. It's a defining moment. The race isn't about competition or killing a time, its about fun, running, team work, supporting other teams, and having the best time that you can.

I know that I never would have gotten into running or these events, if it wasn't for those crazy people on Got The Runs. I'm glad I joined them last year, and hope there are more events in the future. Bring on the challenges!!

Hallway of Doors

The last few weeks have been tough. A lot of failure and disappointment. It made me lose sight of things. I couldn't enjoy what was right in front of me. It was coming to the point where I thought that there was no hope left and I was to the point of giving up. Throwing in the towel and realizing how my life is going to be.

I've lived the nomad life for a long time. Always saying good bye to people, not staying in one place to long. Don't get me wrong, I've been many places and seen a lot that people don't get to. I'm very greatful for that. It has made me who I am today. But there was always something missing. Something that lots of people had that is didn't. But I chose to keep moving.

When I finally realized I should stop doing that, it seemed too late. The older I got the harder it was to find jobs and relationships. I feared that my life was going to go back to what it was. And it did again for a while. I was scared that I was too late and that's how my life will go. I started to accept that. Told people that its what I am and I can't change that.
Every once in a while things would be going great. And as soon as I settled into being happy and enjoying it, it would be taken from me. It felt like someone had a personal vendetta against me and was just teasing and laughing at me. I asked God what I did wrong and how can I fix it to make it better. It seemed like I never got an answer. So I accepted that that's how it will always be.

As many of you know and have seen my Facebook status, I finally have an opportunity. I am very greatful for all the love and support you have sent to me. I can't thank you enough. The saying when one door closes, another opens. This is very true in my case.

I had a door close that I was hoping never would. Something special was in that door.  Something that made me happy and smile. When things seemed down, I knew that would make everything better. It was something to look forward to everyday. It seemed perfect and too good to be true. But I was enjoying the ride. And then it closed and there was nothing I could do about it. Again I felt like that vendetta was there just poking at me and laughing. When all seemed great...poof...gone. I was speaking with friends that it is just how it will always be. I could see I was giving up. And what's worse, I was accepting it.

I woke up this morning to work out and get rid of my hangover. I worked out hard and saying just focus on the race this weekend. It will help clear the mind. I finished and was drinking my protein shake and just sitting with no idea what to do when the email came. Didn't see it coming. Thankful that it did.

I was sad when that door closed. When this one opened, it made me realize that other doors will open for me soon as well. I just have to move forward. Make the best of what's being given to me. I'll look back at that closed door and think what if, but I know that someday, that closed door will always open another.

Thank you for everything and all you support. Boston, here I come.

Look Around

I sit here at this moment, writing and looking out on an empty beach. Nothing but a bunch of seaweed, seagulls, and a zillion dead horseshoe crabs. Not sure why so many crabs, but it seems like this beach is a grave yard for them. Seagulls enjoy it though!

I have had a lot on my mind lately. So I sit here and think. The peace and quiet should help right? Thinking things like What could I have done differently? Why did I chose to do certain things? If I had made other choices, how would my life be? All these things don't matter now of course because I already made the path, but sometimes I think, I wish I had done that instead. Have to live with my choices though. Regrets or not.

Not all is bad of course, as I look at this beach, my tan skin, sun bleached leg and arm hair, but what if I stayed at a certain job, what if I didn't go to some place, what if I didn't spend money doing that thing, and what if I stopped her from getting on that airplane? Too many what ifs that I cannot change now. Just have to accept the choices and mistakes I have made.

I've learned definitely. I've enjoyed life, been to some amazing places, met lots of fun people, I've loved and I've lost. That's how life is.

Gotta go out and live, not hold back on things you want, and if you love someone, don't hold it back because you probably won't get a second chance. Say it before it's too late.

So long sweet summer

So the summer season has ended here on the Cape. The weather for the last 3 weeks has sucked, and of course today, it was the most perfect day ever, and our restaurant is closed. Typical. I look back on the season and my time so far here, and ponder. I definitely didn't do a lot of things I really wanted do. But there is still time. And now with less people around here, you can actually drive places! Go away tourists and NYers!! Wait...I'm from NY. Whatever....details.

You can definitely tell when people are back. Traffic sucks, everyone drives an SUV, all the moms driving their SUVs like maniacs, sundae school is packed, and the numerous kites flying in the air. What is the big deal with kites? I don't get it. It just stays up there. How is that fun? Although I did see a guy have a kite on a fishing pole and let it up that way. Ultimate laziness there. Didn't even work for it.

Now the off season is upon us, and my time is surely to end soon. Have to get in everything now, since beach parking will be free again, and the bars and restaurants will have openings, P-town won't be so crowded, and the Wellfleet Oysterfest is coming, as well as cranberry season. Stoked about those. Pictures are sure to follow.

Job hunting has been going on like crazy. Still working on it as usual. Hire me!! I'm awesome!! Maybe that will work...no? OK. Money-wise the summer was a bust, but it has been good. A lot of self reflection and meeting lots of new people.

I leave you with this: whenever you are sad remember that you don't look like you did in the 6th grade.

I know you want it

So they last couple weeks have been very different in my training. I've picked up my running to train harder for the Ragnar. As of today I ran 4.25 miles and kept under an 8:00 pace. 7:52 to be exact. I don't even know when the last time I did that was. It feels great to know I can push myself to get faster every time I run. Plus running by people gives me a lot more confidence. There are miles of bike paths around here and they are packed everyday with runners and bikers. That helps me as well seeing all these people. I can't let them beat me!!!

Speaking of biking. I went biking the other day. Kind of my cross training day. 22 miles and loved it. So much to see! Passed a bunch of cranberry bogs, some ponds and lakes, and hundreds of people. Stopped at a little country store on the path that had everything in the world out seemed. Dozens of bikers of all ages were there just relaxing, getting food and drinks, and enjoying life. The owner says he sees hundreds of people a day. He has quite the location. You know what they say about business: location location location.... he's doing quite well for himself. Down the road from there are a couple fresh water lakes. Of course I had to stop and see it. Again bikers having a picnic and swimming. Water temperature: 80 degrees. Was amazing! I stayed for a few and went on my journey.

I get to Nickerson State Park. I finally found hills!! It is quite a large park, comparatively speaking with the size of Cape Cod. Bike trails all over it. Up and down and around sharp corners. I tore those trails up! Thank God I didn't see anyone because they were screwed if they were around a corner from me. I didn't really think of that until after the fact. Oh well it was fun!! Sick workout too! I'm definitely going to be going back soon.

It is a pretty interesting area. Can't wait to see the cranberry bogs full, wellfleet oysterfest, and any other crazy tradition on the Cape. They say the leaves don't really change here do that will be different.

Until next time!

Two hats were on a hat rack in a hallway. One says to the other "stay here and I'll go on a head"

I See Them Changes

Being here at a place that I didn't know a person has definitely helped me understand some things about me. I spend a lot of time by myself figuring things out. And I'm OK with that. I understand me more and understand what it is I need to do next. Do I know what the next step is, no....however I know what it is I need to do. And I have already started planning for that. Once I get the details down, I'll let you know.

I feel like a lot about me has changed since I have been here as well. From my mindset to my workouts. It is different for me but I like it. My workouts are completely different. We have a gym here on property, and we are not allowed to use it. Ironically I haven't seen a single person use it either and that highly upsets me. It just sits there with new equipment and doesn't get touched....I'm not bitter or anything......so I have to get creative in what I do.

When I left Albany in May, I had 16.5 inch arms, 57 inch shoulders, and I was close to 230 pounds. I could bench press and squat a pretty good amount of weight. I was pretty happy with my size. Now.....I'm not so big. Dropped down to 210 and definitely not as muscular. Oh how I miss it. I had to change my workout to all body weight and high intensity workouts. I'm definitely not as strong as I was before but I'm quicker, more agile, more endurance, and faster. I don't mind that so much. I feel great actually. Wish I could have both mass and quickness. Hmmm.....but I'm definitely enjoying this style workout. And it has been a challenge to me because I know how strong I used to be, and I can see that I struggle with something I never used to. But once I get back to the gym in October, watch out. I will enter beast mode.

I am training for the Ragnar race I ran last year. I was not as prepared as I thought I was last year, so this year I will be ready. Running is starting to be something I enjoy.....did I just say that.....weird. Let's just say I don't hate it as much as I used to. I actually feel great running and watching my pace drop lower and lower. Gives me something to push towards now. So if you are in the ADKs in the end of September, come out and support our team!

I will be visiting Silver Bay in less than a month. I cannot wait. It will be a nice little vacation even though it is completely booked solid already. Lots of fun activities planned with some great people. So get ready everyone.

I leave you with this: life is like a penis....simple, relaxed and hanging freely. Its women who make it hard.

Just kidding ladies!!! Kind of hahaha